@Just_Lee_: I think you can all settle down. Its unlikely Instagram will ever find buyers for photos of 20 000 feet and a billion sunsets.
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@BlindChow: [drunk w/ 2 kittens at a bar] give me another "haven't u had enough?" i'll tell u when i've had enough! *bartender hands me another kitten*
@baronvonbike: Do you think police always say “Do you know why I pulled you over?” on the off chance that you’ll admit to some high crime? “Shit... Was it the treason?”
@iwearaonesie: my wife's friend is so pissed i made fun of his lazy eye he's having a hard time even looking at me