@Just_Lee_

I think you can all settle down. Its unlikely Instagram will ever find buyers for photos of 20 000 feet and a billion sunsets.

You Might Also Like

@AdamOfEarth

12013 B.C.: You might run into cougars while out clubbing

2013 A.D.: You might run into cougars while out clubbing

@brunopieroni

How to stop Facebook Live and Marketplace notifications:
1) Open Facebook app
2) Go to Settings
3) Throw your phone into a river

@FrauFickenDammt

A white man beaten with a wheel of Parmesan claims it was a hate crime. Cheese on cracker investigation begins.

@sarcasticmommy4

I’m at my most financial consultant when I tell the McDonald’s employee what my change back should be.

@squirrel74wkgn

[Facebook]
Wife: Hubby is making breakfast for dinner!

[real life]
Me: *tosses Cheerios at the baby*

@KeetPotato

[interrupts gf talking about her dream wedding]
lol a horse drawn carriage?
“what’s funny about that?”
a horse can’t hold a pencil karen

@james_comics

octopus: [spinning so fast it takes off]

me: [nodding] helicoptopus

@NOTVIKING

freezing my bottle of water so that when i go to the airport later i can get it through security because it’s technically not a liquid

@CoreyKeyz

Valentine’s Day makes me realize how single I really am. But I’m still gonna sleep like a baby knowing I’m not getting cheated on.