@behindyourback: I took my 5y/o to a protest hoping to get a woke-baby quote from him but instead he said "cool, a yelling party" and then screamed for a bit
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@KatieBurnett: Never understood why ghosts haunt old, dusty houses. If I was a ghost I'd haunt Hawaii or Bali
@PaperWash: "Susan cancel my 2 o'clock" Both hands stuck in Pringles cans again? Here let me help "no no no I need to learn to do this on my own"
@imabbylouise: I have nothing in common with people that say, "I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy."