Both her name and her living situation suggests that the dwarves MAY have been referring to Snow White when they sang, ‘high ho.’
I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, I’d like to add you to my professional network
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How To Be Interesting:
Never pronounce “Ray Liotta” the same way twice
new workout: I put my phone on the other side of the house so I have to walk to check Twitter. I’ve gotten 56,000 steps today
On a road trip passing a billboard that says live girls dancing daily.
My daughter’s voice from the backseat, “wow, that’s a lot of recitals.”
Inventor: so a flying balloon
Me: i’m with you
Inventor: big flame over your head
Me: sounds good
Inventor: no steering
Inventor: *snorting coke* and you’re in a wicker basket
Me: i’m in
PROFESSOR: Please don’t speak without raising your h-
ME: [raises hand]
PROFESSOR: [wheeling cadaver table away from me] I meant your own hand
That’s “MISTER your credit card is declined” thank you very much.
How can a murderer return to the scene of the crime? I don’t even go to the same McDonald’s too soon after I’ve eaten there.
Whoever said that the pen is mightier than the sword never tried slicing a cucumber with a Sharpie.
ME: Why does my stomach hurt?
WebMD: Because of that Ouija board you messed with in the fourth grade, probably.