I grew up just a stone’s throw away from where that whole family died of mysterious head injuries
I try not to get political on twitter, but cinderella’s step mom was a real piece of shit
You Might Also Like
Too bad the dinosaurs didn’t have a Bruce Willisaurus to fly into space and blow that asteroid up.
[commercial for tupperware]
Are you done with that food, but would rather throw it away in 3 weeks rather than right now?
Now that Fox News is 18 can we send it to Iraq?
Have you tried just Photoshopping her into your life?
Jesus draws a bath after an exhausting day, gets in “Damn it, c’mon, not again!” he says as he sits on top of the water, unable to submerge
“So why do you want to be a jeweler?”
ME(thinking about using that eye thing to appraise chicken nuggets): I love rubies
Take Note: a stress ball can be used for throwing at people who stress you out..
My wife says that we should keep the chocolate milk in the back of the fridge so it stays colder, but personally I just think she’s racist