@Vodkantots: I wanna be famous, but only so I can name my kids Wombat and Pumpernickel.
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@1followernodad: me: how can Americans be so arrogant? also me: *is mad when United States is listed alphabetically instead of at the top of a list*
@StansaidAirport: If you removed every blade from a 747's engines and laid them end to end, you'd go to prison for rendering useless a $357 million aircraft.
@WheelTod: [Animal Shelter] Me: “I’m here to pick up a rescue dog.” Her: “And what kind of dog did you have in mind?” Me: “Well, mostly I'll be needing him to drag me passed out drunk from buildings I’ve set on fire with lit cigarettes. So... a strong one. Oh & ideally he knows CPR.”