@Vodkantots: I wanna be famous, but only so I can name my kids Wombat and Pumpernickel.
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@TheLesbianTwin: a squirrel buries a nut in my backyard. I think im going to dig it up & replace it with a grilled cheese sandwich, blow its freaking mind!
@Book_Krazy: 9: Whatcha watching? Me: Tiny Houses. 9: Wow it's tiny! Who's gonna live there? Me: Two people. 9: Are they married? Me: Not for long.
@MarfSalvador: Me: I need a doctor's appointment Receptionist: Ok [checks bookings] how about 10 tomorrow? Me: No I don't need that many