@RafflesWord: I want cake, to get cake I must get dressed, to get dressed I have to get out of bed, to get out of bed I need cake.
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@ColoradoUgly: I decided to tell the kids that Santa is made up but nighttime home invasions are very very real.
@bouncingblonde: Just made jerk off motions at a group of construction guys. They just stood there staring at each other like "now what?"...all talk eh boys?
@psybermonkey: Me (standing in front of mirror): bloody mary, bloody mary, bloody mary Cop on other side: what is he doing