@robyn_vo: I wanted to have sex with Uma Thurman until I saw her toes in Kill Bill.
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@SamuelHLowe: I forgive you, but I hope your death is written, produced, and directed by Quentin Tarantino.
@copymama: After days stranded at sea on the edge of starvation, my 4yo is rescued & given bread: “This has seeds on it,” she scoffs, pushing it away.
@BadassBarbie11: The good news is, I blocked the creepy guy. The bad news is, I'm tweeting this from inside his trunk.
@justinshanes: Amazon thinks my recent humidifier purchase was merely the inaugural move in a newfound hobby of humidifier collecting.