boy they weren’t kidding about cigarettes being addictive; I can’t stop eating these things!!
I was always a sucker for a pair of blue eyes and she had a whole jar.
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I wouldn’t trust someone as far as I could throw them
ok, we can trust that baby
are we supposed to just accept that gingerbread men live in houses built from the flesh of their fellow men
Spider-Man: hold it right there, Chameleon
Chameleon: how’d you know it was me
Spider-Man: you’re disguised as Peter Parker
Spider-Man: *starts sweating*
When I unsubscribe from an e-mail list, and they have one of those annoying surveys asking for a reason why I unsubscribed, I click “Other” and write “I used to make sweet love to your CEO and these e-mails are a painful reminder of our time together.”
waiter: any questions?
me: did courtney kill kurt??
him: uh, about the menu?
me: LOL i seriously doubt she killed him about the menu
Hey boy, are you a nap? because I wanna have you all the time.
I like in RPGs when you kill a wild animal and it has, like, $5 and a spoon on it for some reason
Relationship status: I’m seeing several women in my neighbourhood.
Obi Wan Quinoa-be VS. Darth Vaper