@shariv67: I was bitten by a radioactive vegan, and now I have the power to bore people to death.
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@thatUPSdude: (Stalker Diary) Day 4: Still under her bed. She continues to put the toilet paper roll on upside down. It's like I'm living with a monster.
@david8hughes: [last supper] "Tonight, one of you will betray me for 20 pieces of silver." "30." "Sorry Judas?" [sips wine] "I didn't say anything."
@crunchenhanced: Fun tip: Go to carnivals, scatter nuts and bolts around rides to cut down on wait times. *thumbs up*
@bingowings14: [creating seals] Angel: It’s been a long day, how about just one more thing? God: Give that dog a wetsuit & lets go the pub.