@kumailn

I was interviewing my cat & she just kept meowing nonsensically but I didn’t wanna interrupt or challenge her because I was afraid she’d end the interview!

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@9GAG

If you succeed at failing, do you fail or succeed?

@DadandBuried

Sometimes my kids are so cute it hurts my heart just to look at them.

Other times they’re awake.

@StellaRtwot

I bet you the first person to invent puzzles was a woman that ripped up a picture of her husband.

@AntozWolf

For some reason I’m an extremely secretive
person. Don’t ask me why

@BBKittyF2

Me:
How’s that chicken babe, too spicy?

12:
Its not really spicy..

Except on the way out

@Jandalize

Every time I steal lunch from the office fridge I can’t help but think, I wish my coworkers would pack larger lunches.

@Tiim_____

we’re in Quarantine so the government can change the batteries in all the Birds. you ever seen a baby pigeon ? didnt think so

@ibid78

Do I have friends? Are we allowed to count the enemies of my enemies? Then yes, I have a bunch of friends.