If you succeed at failing, do you fail or succeed?
I was interviewing my cat & she just kept meowing nonsensically but I didn’t wanna interrupt or challenge her because I was afraid she’d end the interview!
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20/__ — Cyclops with perfect vision
Sometimes my kids are so cute it hurts my heart just to look at them.
Other times they’re awake.
I bet you the first person to invent puzzles was a woman that ripped up a picture of her husband.
For some reason I’m an extremely secretive
person. Don’t ask me why
How’s that chicken babe, too spicy?
Its not really spicy..
Except on the way out
Drake Bell needs to call his child Taco.
Every time I steal lunch from the office fridge I can’t help but think, I wish my coworkers would pack larger lunches.
we’re in Quarantine so the government can change the batteries in all the Birds. you ever seen a baby pigeon ? didnt think so
Do I have friends? Are we allowed to count the enemies of my enemies? Then yes, I have a bunch of friends.