I was pretty nervous doing stand-up in front of a bunch of nudists but then I imagined the crowd in their underwear and it helped so much.

You Might Also Like


SICK of gossip rags only being interested in famous people. Can someone please investigate the woman in my building who put a salad in the recycling bin


Yeah I can take a hint. I’m not going to though.


It’s ok Apple users, I just woke up and found a surprise Nickelback album on my BlackBerry.


Her: If you look up immature in the dictionary you’ll see a picture of yourself!

Me: Oh I’m immature? I’m not the one with pictures in my dictionary Karen!


I love hoodies because maybe I work out, maybe I ate 4 whole large pizzas last week. You don’t know.


i used to steal a bunch of digestion meds as a kid and all the cvs’s around town had a wanted sign calling me klepto bismol


“Do you want to have fun but also get more mad than you’ve ever been in your life?” – video games


My mom likes to get to the airport three days before her flight.


My son’s baseball team just had to forfeit a game for not having enough Evans and Kadens