@dumbbeezie: I was washing my car and my neighbor said when I’m done I can wash his car too and we laughed and laughed and then I water boarded him
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@LilBlueBlood: Whenever I have to park in a bad neighbourhood I leave my Blackberry in plain sight so people know there's nothing worth stealing in my car
@NOTVIKING: god: we need some ideas for sharks angel that loves whales: what about whale sharks god: kinda similar to your last idea. anyone else? angel that loves tigers: you should make a tiger shark god: dammit does anyone have anything original angel that hates nails: i have an idea
@BoomBoomBetty: [falling asleep, my hand dangles over the side of the bed] [a pale ghostly hand emerges from under the bed, slides its cold dead fingers between mine] Me, squeezing back: Awww.