@Tups13: I was worried my notifications had stopped working but luckily I’m just unpopular.
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@ValeeGrrl: My son just explained how he wants to make a necklace out of my hair which is totally normal & doesn't at all concern & terrify me.
@LostCatDog: This doctor once told me eating a bagel was like eating 5 slices of bread and I was like ok, cool, I like bread
@BoomBoomBetty: “Cool.” was my spouse’s text reply to me getting our Pearl Jam tickets today. So anyway, after I bury the body in the back yard, I have an extra ticket if someone wants to go.