I washed a man in Reno just to watch him dry.
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Very normal stages of anger:
1) kinda upset
3) imagining yourself singing a revengeful song to them at a talent show
Yes, other people are stupid. But to everyone but you, you are one of those other people.
I’m one salad away from identifying as a rabbit
Just ruined another 3yo’s life by failing to find a non existent toy they didn’t bring to school
Revenge is a dish best served with a laxative that looks like chocolate.
12: I hate school.
Me: Hey! Perk up! Years from now you’ll look back on this as the best time of your life!
12: Now you’re just being mean
You missed Mass online, which isn’t great, but you can watch Ben Hur now for partial credit.
I just want to be wealthy enough to leave notes for the house-sitter like “If the puma seems restless, let him splash in the Jacuzzi a bit.”
If you have a family member you that you never want to see again, loan them some money.