*Beethoven & orchestra take stage*
HECKLER: (chanting) Ode to Joy! Ode to Joy!
Beethoven: –we’re gonna play some new stuff
I wish there was a way to musically tell someone to pour sugar on you but there isn’t
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*waits at baggage claim area*
*an entire roast pig emerges on the carousel*
*I check the tag to make sure it’s mine*
His last words were, “I’m just going to tell her to calm down, and remind her that she still hasn’t made dinner.”
Happy Fat Tuesday! Join me agin tomorrow on still fat Wednesday
Her: I like bad boys.
Me: *trying to impress* I have it on Blu-ray.
Him: Hurt me
Me: Your brother is hotter than you
Me: Not a big fan of the new haircut either
Her: You’re all sweaty. Where have you been?
*Flash back to an hour long struggle of me trying to separate 2 shopping carts*
Me: The gym.
It’s not illegal to get in a taxi and scream until you’ve reached your destination.
Man, these hotcakes are selling like themselves.
Six inches of snow predicted tonight:
Is that twitter 6″ | |
Subway 6″ | |
Real life 6″ | |
Or Dan 6″ | | Cheesecake