Just bit into a Pop Tart so hot that it caused me to involuntarily perform the falsetto “ah-ha-ha-ha-” intro to Stayin’ Alive
i wish they named cookies something different because every time a website asks me to accept cookies, and i decline, a little part of my heart is like, but i love cookies, just not your kind
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My prompt email replies are 10% due to me being a diligent employee, and 90% due to the crippling OCD that compels me to clear my inbox.
Scary: A wolf chasing you
Scarier: A werewolf chasing you
Scariest: A werewolf with a clipboard chasing you
So a coffee break is when you stop drinking coffee for a minute, right?
Me: What’d you have for lunch?
Her: Funny you should ask, I had this really great salad wit…
I still cannot believe that we found a crab with these markings at Friday Harbor Labs this summer. We named it “Sad crab” and it now lives happily in a HUUUUUUUGE tank at @MarineBiol_FHL. Sad crab, I stan you.
When you die your voice gets added to the Big Bang Theory laugh track.
CAT scans are just like regular scans, only the techs push you off the table after.
Today’s interpretive dance was brought to you by “Spider On My Shirt”.
Up next we have “Oh jeeze, where did it go?!”
Popeye teaches us that the best reason to eat healthy is revenge. #CartoonLifeLessons