@Prof_Hinkley: I wonder how long the first person to deliver twins waited before they realized that was the last one
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@: funny how siblings excel at different things for instance I’m the funny one and my brother is the successful one
@Parkerlawyer: A few years ago I accidentally left one of my kids at the Alamo. It wasn’t too bad, it was less than 20 minutes when we realized. The problem is now, at 17, anytime she wants something she says, “REMEMBER THE ALAMO?” and my mom guilt takes over and she gets whatever she wants.
@SteveDutzy: *Makes joke on Twitter* *5 Retweets* *Makes same joke on Facebook* *Loses job, girlfriend leaves me, disowned by parents, 1 Like*
@thholyghost: how did chucky manage to murder so many people??? just pick him up and yeet him in the bin. he's a doll