The Sun’s probably Asian.
I wonder if Jason Bateman is thinking about me too
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a ladybug has entered the household. and i. am on my way to introduce myself
Cell phones ruined the fun of pushing a fully clothed person into a pool.
WHY DOES THIS DENTAL FLOSS REFUSE TO LET ME TOSS IT INTO THE BATHROOM TRASH CAN?
I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering, 98 of them said, “How the hell did you get in here?”
I photobombed my pal’s passport photo & now they won’t let him through customs unless I’m behind him waving my hands in the air like a putz.
Who called it a muzzle and not a hush puppy?
I think it’s unfair that when a human eats uncooked fish it’s “sushi,” but when a fish eats uncooked human, it’s “a shark attack.”
My grandfather died during sex. I still cry when I watch the video.
Why is lumberjack the only job with some random guy’s name attached? Why aren’t plumbers called, like, toiletdougs? Or crapperjoels?