@Iwriteforcats: I work out by ordering a small drink at Burger King, then get up 100 times to refill it.
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@P0tterhead_394: I like when babies cry and you make the same noise as them, and they look at you like, "Wow. That's annoying." and you're like, "I know."
@BuckyIsotope: *rolls up to teens on skateboard* Hello kids. Can I interest you in a marijuana party? *pulls out bong with evidence sticker on it* dammit
@RocketRankoon: This ebola scare is getting out of hand I just threw ebola at someone who said good morning to me before I had my coffee