@prufrockluvsong: I would do anything for love. But I won't do that. Or that. That's not looking good either.
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@Bexdora: Meet Brian, my monkey butler. He's gonna help out around the office. *Monkey flinging office equipment out the window* Brian hates clutter.
@CIAGoFundMe: 2008: listen high school sucks for a lot of people but in a decade you'll be making good money, probably have a wife 2018: you're in an online feud with DaCumGuzzler69
@daemonic3: [1st day as a mechanic] CUSTOMER: can you check my tire alignment? ME: umm, sure [nervously inspecting tires] I think they are Chaotic Evil
@weinerdog4life: I'm just like the ghostbusters, except I chase squirrels around my neighborhood with a vacuum cleaner