@ddsmidt: I'd be so much more successful if some of my ancestors had just married better.
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@philco816: Note on the bed side table read "this isn't working," but I put a quarter in and the bed still vibrates. I don't know what her problem was.
@green_eyed_doll: Relationship status: Just kissed my cat and he got up and moved to the other end of the couch.
@trojansauce: [fleeing the bank we just robbed] accomplice: play it cool this time, okay? me: GOD I HATE CRIME YOU GUYS police officer: alright he's clear