@ieatanddrink: If a guy wants to call a woman ugly online a window should pop up where he has to upload pictures of all the women he's slept with
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@SkunkFarts: The American flag should be a picture of a cheeseburger watching TV on a couch made of fries.
@ddsmidt: Budget: She really knows how to stretch me to the limit. Spanx: Dude, look who you're talking to.
@Tierno158: CNN reports Hurricane Patricia "hit luxury resorts and impoverished villages with equal ferocity." Did they expect wealth-based discernment?
@Chloestylo: Hormonal teenage daughter: Where do you want to be buried? Me: You mean after I die, right?