@earnestaugust: If Domino's was smart, they'd randomly call me asking if they should send over a pizza because the answer would always be yes.
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@TheBoydP: I’m not saying I’m a great dad, I’m just saying it’s a holiday weekend and I’m wearing cargo shorts with a Hawaiian shirt…
@adult_keverage: Do you know what's cooler than those fake chains around your license plate? Everything. Every single thing in the world.