[creating the Octopus]
Angel: How about a spider in a wetsuit?
God: Weird but I like it. Make it edible.
If I was a germ, I’d probably be from the 0.01% that Purell can not kill.
You Might Also Like
I’m opening a funeral home that has a bar in it. I know right?
On the way in a fox ran across the road ahead of me…I slowed down pretty quick cuz i knew a bunch of English dudes on horses were next…
I just got booed off stage by a bunch of jerks that didn’t appreciate my humor.
That’s the last time I’ll do a eulogy.
Superman: How’d you know?
Lex: Know what?
S: My secret identity!
L: Whaddya mean?
S: You called me a KENT!!
L: That’s NOT what I called you.
BREAKING: Hugh Hefner dies at 69. He was 91 years old
My she-ro of the day is the project lead who turned on her camera during today’s group Skype meeting.
“YOLO” giggled the 53rd incarnation of Buddha
Going to Walmart with my mom and kids is a great way to test if the Xanax is working!
But I love food, why would it want to poison me? 🙁