@prsnprincess: If I'm lying but not wearing pants, what catches fire?
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@Diversion50: IAN: Why is that bear hanging out in the bar? ME: He's a well known, gimmick. IAN: Really? ME: That's Conan. Conan The Bar Bear, Ian.
@LeahTiscione: Don't tell me you're coming to my party on facebook then go for something better last minute ugh have fun at "the wake" or whatever
@carlyaquilino: *lays in bed* "Did I leave the oven on? When's the last time I even baked anything? Like 6 months? I should probably still check to be sure"
@bingowings14: Trick your partner into thinking you’ve been to Costco by coming home with a canoe & a years supply of dishwasher tablets.