@Cheeseboy22: If I've learned anything from movies, it's that if you are investigating something important and get shot, you have to leave the hospital, even though the doctors say you shouldn't.
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@sarawrencomedy: HIM: Are you mad at me? ME: No. HIM: Well you're playing Sims again and removed the ladder to the pool while an avatar that looks remarkably like me drowns. ME: So? That's how you play The Sims.
@drinksmcgee: Trojan’s next commercial should just be a guy saying “See?” while pointing at my kids when they’re fighting over a cookie.
@MorganJ7: I don't friend zone people I relationship zone them. You want to be my friend? Too bad, we're dating.