imagine a reverse pizza. the missing hole on the table where the pizza is meant to be. everything else is pizza. the solar system. the air.
If life had a ‘CTRL + ALT + DEL’ option, you bet your ass I’d be hitting that thing about 14 times a day.
You Might Also Like
Why are so many men suddenly curious who my father is right in the middle of our lovemaking?
Don’t mean to brag but I can turn a pair of fat pants into skinny jeans in like 3.5 months
Luke, I am your father. Man you should see your face right now. It’s all like waaaaaat no way.
Keep hiring mermaids, but they don’t clean worth a damn, the place always smells like fish, and they leave scales everywhere.
Dang girl are you Die Hard on TBS because it looks like all the good parts are missing.
[watching Avatar for the first time]
girlfriend: this is amazing
me: this is the most elaborate smurf village i’ve ever seen
Doctor: “Why is my waiting room empty?”
Judge: “I hauled everyone off to court”
Doctor: “You’re trying my patients”
My husband thinks it’s really weird I only like green bananas and I think it’s really weird I have a husband.
Scariest things in the world:
2. Phone calls
3. That feeling when you accidentally tip your office chair back too far and your life flashes before your eyes