@KenJennings: If my kid vanished on a plane like in that Jodie Foster movie I'd spend maybe 2-3 hrs enjoying the legroom & quiet before I started looking.
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@T_N_Crumpets: Wife holding bank statement: What's this payment? Me: we're sponsoring a panda! W: so is this monthly? M: No, it's just for the one skydive
@TheBoydP: All I'm saying is if you don't want me to walk into the women's restroom put words not pictures on the doors...
@internetluke: [trying to talk to girl] Ha so you from around here? "Ya" Cool me too. I love planet earth
@Bratch_Patch: "Friends are a dime a dozen." *pulls out a sack full of dimes* "Sweet, I'll take 32 dozen friends please."