@literally_is_me

If Ross Geller and George Costanza were in the same room with Sheldon Cooper, Michael Scott, and Kimmy Gibbler, they still wouldn’t be as annoying as you.

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@FilthyRichmond

Please refrain from telling elderly election volunteers to “work that poll”.

@MsTexas1967

Everyone’s allowed one Tolkien pun just don’t make it a hobbit

@AngelaEhh

Pretty sure I just kept a closer eye on the pizza tracker than I did my infants.

@anthonyonmovies

Rian Johnson: good and bad are 2 sides of the same coin. the resistance and first order both obtain their weapons from the same people, and the only thing that separates the jedi from the sith is an outdated flawed code.

JJ Abrams: bad people have shark teeth lol

@billwurtz

if you mash a potato and then change your mind, just mail me the mashed potato and i will un-mash it and send it back

@smickable

“Maybe a nap will cheer me up!” she said knowing full well she’d wake up feeling like a prisoner of war who time traveled in a sack of bees.

@TweetPotato314

I want to win a contest where you get a line in a movie. And I want that line to be about the chili dog I’m eating. And I’m going to keep screwing up that line. And they’re going to have to keep bringing me chili dogs.

@Freak_N_Geeky

A warehouse is just a regular house that was bitten by a wolf under the full moon.