@leshnevsky

If the chameleons did their work better, we would not know about the existence of chameleons.

If the chameleons did their work better, we would not know about the existence of chameleons.

- @leshnevsky

You Might Also Like

@Ideal_Victoria

Me: *scratches another tally mark into these prison walls*

Boss: stop damaging the office walls!

@atanya1111

“Sorry, her father is a pterodactyl” – me with the screeching baby in the grocery store.

@AndyAsAdjective

[therapy session]

THERAPIST: ok…I totally respect your feelings & you sound genuine…but that was just the plot of Jurassic Park

ME: nuh uh

@MissHavisham

“I’m ONE PERSON trying to hold this whole house together!” my husband hollers in frustration as the kids flee back to the tv, abandoning him with the collapsing gingerbread house.

@BritXNic

My waxer just cancelled.
So I’m making the best of a bad situation and riding around on top of minivans, Teen Wolf style.

@BobLoblaw143637

“I’m so sick of this life”

* sees preview for next life*

“Yeah.. That’s not gonna work for me either.”

@Book_Krazy

[arrives at sales meeting with giraffe I bought last month]

“Ok, did everyone bring a graph tracking your activity this month?”

ME: uh oh

@HeatherLuvsYou

Just because someone smiles a lot doesn’t mean they’re nice. Take alligators for example.

@blaha_Who

Sometimes after a long hard day at work, it takes me 4 bars to get home

@Playing_Dad

Wife: Did you pick up the book I asked you to get?
Me: Yes
Wife: Where did you go?
Me: Narnes & Boble
Wife: Did you say Barnes & Noble?
Me: Maybe