Sit next to stranger on park bench, hand over envelope with random person’s picture, whisper “It has to look like an accident”, walk away.
If the first rule of fight club is not talking about fight club, how did fight club ever get off the ground?
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best sunscreen ever… Xbox 360
‘Noah’ plot hole: THE FOOD CHAIN.
*goes down on one knee*
One Knee: I have a girlfriend
Call your teenage daughter by the dog’s name one time and she doesn’t talk to you for three days. Three wonderful fabulous amazing days.
You better take care of me Lord, if you don’t you’re gonna have me on your hands.
[standing fully clothed in the shower pretending to cry]
me: *opening the shower curtain* yeah this will work
real estate lady: ill draw up the contract
Who called it oatmeal-raisin instead of a misfortune cookie?
Marvellous mathematical takedown of a Motivational Poster
I want to be a large, Southern black woman who fans herself in church when I grow up.