“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said mommy bear. “Who hasn’t” muttered daddy bear. “What?! You wanna do this now, in front of the kid!”
If they cause you to have anxiety & panic attacks the majority of your relationship, move on.
In related news, I just broke up with my mom
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Apparently telling the principal that “it’s not cheating, it’s cooperative learning” was the wrong thing to say.
Came home to find the couch had moved a few inches, and neither the dog nor the cat will look me in the eye now.
when life gives you lemons, use their natural acidity to temporarily blind your opponent
What’s the normal amount of hair to mail someone? I feel like this is a lot of hair I’m mailing to someone
These fireworks are awesome! High four!
If a baby like Justin Bieber is the face of teen angst and rebellion, then we’ve bubble wrapped our kids too tight.
Lying on the hammock while my wife does yard work. Don’t know exactly what she’s planting but the hole she dug is slightly bigger than me.
Reached a point in my life that I have no ‘bones to pick’ nor ‘axes to grind’. Most would call it forgiveness, I call it memory loss and it’s peaceful.
My brother & I’ve competed for title of family black sheep for yrs.
He checked in at a strip-club…on FB.
Well played brother, well played