@RealJFairclough: If ur Twitter feed is toxic af here you have a refresh
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@Playing_Dad: [Alien abduction] Me: What's it like on your planet? Alien: Very barren, desolate Me: But no politics? Alien: No Me: Ok, let's go
@shwebby2: Whenever I start to disrobe in front of a lady; I always hand her a card that states "A mild sense of Nausea is perfectly normal"
@wittwitbarista: I envy the women who can bite their bottom lip and look sexy. I do that and it’s a toss up between “does she need to go to the bathroom and is lost?” Or “is she getting that piece of corn out from her teeth?”