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@Skoog: if you dating baby shark you single to me. what he gonna doo doo doo doo doo doo
@LizerReal: How many babies got thrown out with the bathwater before they invented that saying?
@ShaunRightNow: I think God created marriage so death wouldn't come as such a disappointment.
@RorynotRoy: It's annoying how mirrors are always all like, "Hey, c'mere. I wanna show you something gross about you."
@TheAlexNevil: *first day as a dog catcher
“I don’t see why we can’t use a ball.”
@TheTweetOfGod: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, there was a grim recognition of the fundamental uselessness of man's endeavors.