He died doing what he loved
smelling things underwater
if you ever want to witness an Oscar worthy performance, ask any person from twitter their follower count and watch them pretend to not know
You Might Also Like
Fact: If you blast hiphop at a shallot, it becomes a rapscallion.
Tom Cruise does all of his own stunts because death is the only way out of the Church of Scientology.
Pat is about to own someone
The flight attendant has said “..and one in the rear” 3 times now and I’m Paul. I’m 12 years old.
If you walk around eating a potato like an apple, no one will bother you.
PROFESSOR: Please don’t speak without raising your h-
ME: [raises hand]
PROFESSOR: [wheeling cadaver table away from me] I meant your own hand
Me: *gets in from fishing trip*
Girlfriend: did you catch anything?
Me: *sighs* just an old boot
Girlfriend: okay, what’s she called?
My college girlfriend texted me for the first time in 10 years this weekend and I’m 1 million percent sure this is Adele’s fault
My daughter is grounded for eternity and she just asked me the life expectancy of an adult male who smokes cigarettes and drinks too much coffee…