Eastern Europe – 1989
“If we leave the Soviet Union, we might have to get visas to visit Siberia and turnips will be more expensive”
if you have flat coke lying around in the kitchen, do not trash it, you can make a coke casserole. very simple recipe. here it is.
1. add tbsp. wow you’re still reading this.
2. maybe it’s time to logout, champ.
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“Never go to bed angry” is the worst advice ever. I haven’t slept in eleven years.
I feel as useless as a Kardashian sister’s library card.
If we call people named David, Dave for short, does that mean Flava Flav’s real name was Flavour Flavid?
“Cats typically sleep 16-20 hours per day.”
Yes. Hi. I’m interested in the position.
*tries to discreetly wipe up my spilled drink with your cat*
Some people follow their dreams, I follow lunatics on the internet.
pretending all the cars I’m passing on the road are in a race with me and the cars that pass me are Not in the race they’re just driving somewhere
<at first day of t-ball practice>
Me:What’s the first rule here, boys?
Kid:Don’t poop your pants?
M:I was gonna say “have fun” but…OK.
BACK IN OUR DAY, WE DIDN’T HAVE ANY FANCY EPI-PENS!!!
We just died…
AND WE LIKED IT!!!