@samalmightysam: If you receive an e-mail that says: ''FREE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TICKETS'' Don't open it! It may contain free Justin Bieber concert tickets.
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@Aikiwomannc: Him: You are a souless ginger. Me: Far from it. I've collected hundreds of souls. I keep them in an ancient wooden box. Him: Funny! Me: If they make too much noise at night I squirt them with the water bottle. Him: *nervous laugh*
@TrainedHedonist: Movie idea: Channing Tatum and Chris Hemsworth are called on by the US government to take their shirts off and punch people who read books.
@Darlainky: Loan officer: What’s your social? Me: Mostly Twitter, sometimes Facebook when I want to see what my friends and family are fighting about.
@lovejulieayn: Snoop Dogg; Shake what'cha momma gave you. Me; Ummm... ok. <vigorously shakes a frozen lasagna>