CW: can i ask a stupid question
ME: sure u seem qualified
If your boss says “Correct me if I’m wrong but aren’t you supposed to be in at 8am?” don’t correct them. Its a trap. They hate being wrong.
You Might Also Like
You’re the she to my nanigans.
i made a promise to myself that if i ever get an island the first thing that i will do is put some dinosaurs on it.
The year is 1981. Everybody’s working for the weekend.
2044: the weekend becomes sentient.
2048: Everybody’s working for the weekend.
It’s only been a few days, but I’m starting to forget everything I knew about Mitch Romley.
Sorry I scratched your car with my rough winter elbow.
Pretty certain the day I die my body will be found tangled in Saran Wrap with an untouched sandwich on the counter.
*wife grabs my wrist as I go overboard*
Her: You’re… slipping…
Me: Pretend I’m the covers.
*she easily pulls me to safety with one arm*
Rules for rap battling Eminem:
1. Do not let Eminem go first.
2. Do not let Eminem go second.