@rolldiggity: If you're in a bar and a newscaster says, "Police report the killer left a small doll at the scene," don't shout, "It was an action figure!"
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@aLunchBox: I hate when fire trucks drive real slow with the siren on. There's one behind me right now. So annoying.
@jamdugg: Her: We should do something fun for our 15th anniversary Me: I want to jump out of a plane Her: Go skydiving? Me: No
@ArfMeasures: Me: I just murdered Frank Sinatra Cop: What?? He's been dead for years Me: I was at the karaoke bar Cop: Oh I see lol Me *puzzled* who the hell did I kill?