@rolldiggity: If you're in a bar and a newscaster says, "Police report the killer left a small doll at the scene," don't shout, "It was an action figure!"
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@Marlebean: I help my husband move furniture by saying "Oh my goodness, you are so strong" and "a little more to the left" and "so so strong" and "you know what, I liked it better the downstairs"
@dildointherough: On the third date, I like to buy the girl a really big meal so she's already used to not finishing
@SaltyCorpse: Stop talking about how terrible your kids are. My son eats ketchup on his tacos. I win.