@daddydoubts: Ignoring your kids has become so easy thanks to smart phones. My poor dad spent 18 years staring blankly into space pretending not to hear any question I ever asked, and I don’t know if I’d have that same level of commitment.
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@Parkerlawyer: Sure, we’ve all been through hard times, but even when I waitressed part time during college and ate ramen noodles every night for dinner I still saved my money for important things like Charmin double ply mega rolls.
@vineyille: “Sweet dreams you piece of shit.” I try to snap the prison guard’s neck but just make him look to the left very quickly.