I’m deleting some dumb tweets.
I need all your passwords please.

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A news report says hackers stole $1 Billion dollars from banks around the world. And several pens.


Son, let me tell you the story of the Three Bears. A girl broke into their house and they ate her. Stay out of my stuff, goodnight


Warring nations should hurl their politicians at each other.


I have such a bad cold that when I breathe through my nose, it sounds like Marge Simpson sighing/expressing disapproval.


Fight club but just dueling neighbor’s aggressively leaf blowing leaves onto each other’s lawns.


Which doesnt belong?

Polar Bear

Camel……It’s the only one on the list that knows something about the Middle East


I’m watching my 4 year old son give my 1 year old a hammer. He is so irresponsible.


reading rob zombie’s name is a real wild ride. at first you’re like “rob? ok, i know what we’re dealing with here”. then things get weird


The NSA has been tracking phone records for Verizon customers. They skipped AT&T because those people can’t complete calls.