@NintenDom: I'm going to name my first kid Authorized Personnel so they can go wherever they want in life.
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@SeinfeldToday: George refuses to date a woman when he sees her on 2 different dating apps. G:”It’s too desperate.” J:”How’d you find out?” G:”I’m on both."
@lunchbox_82: I wanted to be Batman when I was a kid. So I kept leading my parents into dark alleys in the bad part of town.