Me: whale sharks should really pick a lane ya know
Aquarium guide: let’s focus on finding your kid
I’m in that fun part of a relationship where everything is new and exciting and we are learning things about each other and I don’t poop.
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Yes, I did a photo shoot with my thesis. Longest labor ever. #phdlife
Still trying to convince my boss that I’m just using beer-flavoured toothpaste.
“Who peed in here and didn’t flush?” is the new “good morning” in my house…
friend: how’d you learn to speak dolphin?
me: with ease
No iPhone. I will not text bahaha. I am not a hilarious sheep.
End a boring conversation by opening an umbrella in their face
if the sun is such a cool and great star then why do all the other stars leave when it shows up