@NurseMurderer

I’m in that fun part of a relationship where everything is new and exciting and we are learning things about each other and I don’t poop.

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@PleaseBeGneiss

Me: whale sharks should really pick a lane ya know

Aquarium guide: let’s focus on finding your kid

@sarahwcurtis

Yes, I did a photo shoot with my thesis. Longest labor ever. #phdlife

@gitson_shiggles

Still trying to convince my boss that I’m just using beer-flavoured toothpaste.

@underrateDad

“Who peed in here and didn’t flush?” is the new “good morning” in my house…

@sammyrhodes

No iPhone. I will not text bahaha. I am not a hilarious sheep.

@rad_milk

if the sun is such a cool and great star then why do all the other stars leave when it shows up