I’m just a girl, with a baseball bat, smashing my internet modem into a gazillion pieces.

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cat: mew
me: actually its about games in journalism
*cat continues to ask for food*


“A wine please”

“Sir, this is McDonalds…”

“Okay, a McWine please”


What’s that thing called when your crush likes you back? Oh yeah. Imagination.


🤣😭 I done ate 22 times and took 13 naps and it’s still today


I accidental typed sinroof instead of sunroof and I may have just invented the greatest thing ever.


The moon is moving away from the earth at about 5 inches a year so it’s like the longest break up ever


*Giant boulder slowly crushes several hundred cats*
Guy who’s about to invent the bagpipes: Hey, this gives me an idea!


I keep waiting for my Cadbury Creme Eggs to hatch into Cadbury Creme Chickens, but no luck so far. And sitting on them certainly didn’t help


It’s a comfort knowing Dad is looking down on me, but we should probably cut his hang-glider out of that tree one of these days.


I have Tourettes syndrome, but instead of swearing, I yell out movies that Nicolas Cage has been in