@AnOrangeSNES: [Batman & Joker at a table in Arkham Asylum]
Joker: Wanna know I got these Scars? *He gestures at his Lion King action figures*
Batman: Ugh
@TheToddWilliams: [butterfly residence]
WIFE: You said you'd change, Carl
HUSBAND: But I have
WIFE: Not really
HUSBAND: Uh…I used to be a fricken caterpillar
@murrman5: "when people say different color bell peppers taste different"
[doctor nodding] I meant anything bothering you physically
@theroyaltramp: I just downloaded another distraction on my distraction device so I can be distracted when my other distractions aren't distracting enough.
@Darlainky: I walked outside and my glasses fogged up so I went inside to switch to contacts and stay there until October.
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