Who the friggin hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere. You just let one into your home and it becomes your cat.
“I’m sure if I show my gf my Twitter, she’ll understand it’s just for fun.”
Said a bunch of now single guys.
You Might Also Like
I’m an ‘adult’, so why do I dance a little and look around nervously when I find a $20 bill in my jeans I didn’t know was there…
We’re just never going to talk about the fact Mufasa and Scar are brothers but have entirely different accents?
My guardian angel deserves a raise
Not sure if I should be more concerned about the son who locked me out of my bedroom today, or the one who showed me how to pick the lock.
Watch closely as the husband quietly approaches the calm children, riles them up into a frenzy, then slyly escapes to watch football.
I used to see people alone at restaurants and feel bad for them. Now I’m with a screaming two year old wondering, “Who is that solo genius?”
Capricorn is just regular corn wearing cute little short pants.
SOON I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOUR HEROES AND TAKE MY PLACE AS YOUR WORLD LEADER BUT FIRST WHAT IS YOUR MOM’S CASSEROLE RECIPE IT IS DELIGHTFUL