
The chips I’m eating are labeled “Harvest Cheddar,” a name which is forcing me to reconsider what I thought I knew about cheese production
The chips I’m eating are labeled “Harvest Cheddar,” a name which is forcing me to reconsider what I thought I knew about cheese production
Every so often my mother has a great idea, usually it involves leaving my house.
Searching for your soulmate could take years. Making a slice of toast takes minutes.
Sometimes I like to hysterically tell mall security that my infant son has gone missing just so I can show people baby pictures of myself.
Check out this list number 5 is awesome.
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5.awesome
Copy Editor is a rewording career.
Eating fried cheese is the closest i’ve gotten to doing heroin.
[First Date]
Her: I love Christmas.Me (trying to impress her): *Pretending I got a phone call* Sorry, it’s my boss, I need to take this. Yes? Oh, hello SANTA.
My Twitter crush is 4,762-timing me!
Whoever said “find joy in the small things” clearly didn’t know my ex.