@buttsword: imagine a dolphin. now imagine a small dog. folks there is plenty more where that came from
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@tweetsbyrocket: [year 2074 and im the last non-robot at my office] me: what's for lunch? co-workers: [in unison] watts for lunch
@TweetPotato314: [wedding day] fiancé: I shouldn’t have let you pick the photographer me: but he’s my best friend [our dog trots up wearing a go pro]
@justabloodygame: [commercial for Facebook] *man sits in tree, watching friends from high school through binoculars* "Don't you wish there were a better way?"
@ericsshadow: In the 1970s it was almost impossible to insult someone electronically. Thank god that nightmare is over.