@sliver_of: Imagine how much fatter we’d all be if they made snack bags less noisy so we could finally snack in peace
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dumbbeezie: I do the same thing every other woman my age does in the shower. Argue with people in my head.
@_Tempo11: Told my dog it's too cold to go for a walk and he just saw one from the window and now I'm a liar.
@The_Just_Factor: Nice try Jehovah's witnesses, but dressing up like the police and saying you have a warrant isn't going to get me to come to the door.
@garrydavenport: One of my "100 things to do before you die" would definitely be "call an ambulance".