Imagine if we discovered another ocean. I hope we name it Billy

You Might Also Like


{at sports arena}
*kiss cam pans to me just as I take a huge bite of a hotdog
Me: *panics and seductively licks mustard off my lips.


[tree falls in forest]

[doesnt make a sound]


TREE: oh shit uhh AAHHHH I have fallen and I can’t get up aaahhh


“Man, what’s eating you today?

*looks down*

I Don’t know…. GET IT OFF OF ME!!!


They’re not called “butt hole mirrors.” They’re called “hand mirrors,” according to this clerk at Walgreens.


It wasn’t until an old man yelled BINGO that Nana realized what a horrible mistake it was to bring her pit bull Bingo to the bingo hall…


I didn’t watch the video you sent I just waited 3 minutes then wrote hahaha


Just gonna wait to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I’m describing him.